As kids, while growing up we were mostly conditioned to believe that there is a certain pattern of how life works.
‘You study, you get a job and you get married’, is what is being told to us from the very beginning. This is embedded so deeply in our system that none of us really bother questioning this pattern. We begin walking on this predefined path ignorant of that fact that with time and age our mindset changes. But this isn’t really our fault; everyone gets so focused on advising us about marriage, kids and jobs that they miss out on the subject of self-growth.
It has been studied that by the time we are 11 or 12, we develop an interest in the opposite sex. And believe it or not, all those childhood stories about Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty along with the endless stream of romantic movies fed to us by Hollywood and Bollywood do blur our judgement into thinking that having a partner is mandatory for our happiness. So since childhood, we were burdened with this impossible task of finding a partner, which lead us to believe that being in a relationship is meant to bring happiness. By the time we are 18, most of us have already dealt with jealousy, a couple of heartbreaks, backstabbing, lies and what not; just because we are told being single is not the right option.
Well, guess what? We don’t need someone for our life to go on. Irrespective of what the society says, being in a relationship is not mandatory and choosing to be single is perfectly okay. A study conducted by Anne Böger and Oliver Huxhold was published in the Journal of Gerontology which claims that we become perfectly okay being single as we grow older. The author worked on 2552 volunteers in the year 2008 and re-interviewed them again in 2014. It was concluded that 40-85-year-olds who chose to be single were most content with their life. Let me enlighten you on some of the aspects of being single –
Independence
Nothing gives us the independence or the freedom we crave for like, being single. We are literally free to do whatever we want and be answerable to none. In fact, it has been said that this can be so addictive that we may not enjoy the company of anyone else in our life. Being single makes us a stronger person to be able to deal with life.
Relationships
Relationships as good as it seems isn’t for everybody. And unlike the fantasy that is displayed on the fairytales, relationships involve a lot of compromises and efforts, which may not be everyone’s cup of tea. Rather than staying in a miserable relationship, being single seems to be a better alternative. Though we might not realise this when we are young, we definitely understand it as we grow older.
Happiness
This whole idea that someone else is going to fulfil us and make us happy is ‘just wrong’. We are whole in ourselves and we need to learn to make our own self happy. We are responsible for our satisfaction.
If we are not content with ourselves how can we expect it from someone else? The older we get the more self-content we become. As we get to know ourselves better with time we begin to appreciate ourselves.
Loneliness
The fear of being lonely is what drives most people towards a relationship or continue to be in one, even though it might not be right for them. When you discover the pleasure of your own company, loneliness fades away. Single folks were allegedly unaffected by loneliness. This also helps us in being independent and boosts our self-esteem.
Mentality
As we grow so does our partners, with that our mentality changes. It wouldn’t be surprising if our mentality differs from our partners.
Unless we are able to compromise where both parties feel respected, it’s better to be single than engage in arguments. And with age the only thing we crave for is peace.
