Romantic movies can make corrupt ideas about love seem ideal, from toxic dynamics to unrealistic hopes. Experts reveal what movies get wrong about relationships.
Relationships rarely follow the neat storylines shown on screen, where grand gestures, instant chemistry, and dramatic reunions often pass for lasting love. Yet some romantic movies and TV shows can promote ideas about relationships that are far removed from reality. So, which screen romances get love most wrong, and could watching them shape unrealistic expectations? Psychologists, therapists, and dating coaches share their perspectives on the stories that may send unhealthy messages about love.
1. Joker: Folie à Deux (2024)
The relationship at the center of this story presents an intensely unhealthy picture of love, with two people reinforcing each other’s insecurities, inflated egos, and distorted view of reality. Rather than challenging these patterns, their connection allows both individuals to remain trapped in a shared fantasy where each person validates the other’s behavior. This creates a cycle of codependency, making it difficult for either partner to confront the vulnerability hidden beneath their confidence. As their beliefs continue to feed into one another, the relationship becomes increasingly detached from reality. The result is a destructive dynamic that ultimately reflects the dangers of unchecked emotional dependence.
2. Love & Basketball (2000)
The story can romanticize the idea that enduring emotional neglect and mistreatment will eventually lead to love. Although the relationship begins with a sweet connection between childhood friends who bond through basketball, a closer look reveals poor communication, emotional distance, and an imbalance in effort. Quincy repeatedly pulls away, while Monica remains hopeful that he will eventually recognize what she offers. The famous “I’ll play you for your heart” moment captures this dynamic, suggesting that Monica has to prove her worth to earn Quincy’s love. That may work as a dramatic romantic storyline, but it sends a questionable message about relationships, where love should not require someone to constantly prove they deserve to be chosen.
3. Dirty Dancing (1987)
The story can reinforce the idea that a woman needs a man to rescue her or solve difficult situations, which can create unrealistic expectations about relationships. Johnny’s famous defense of Baby may be memorable, but it also raises questions about why her independence is secondary to his intervention. A healthy relationship should involve mutual support rather than one partner constantly acting as the protector or problem-solver. You should be able to rely on your partner while still maintaining your own confidence, choices, and independence. Love works best when both people can stand on their own while supporting each other.
4. Notting Hill (1999)
The story can make finding a soulmate appear far more effortless and romantic than it usually is, suggesting that the right person will simply appear at the perfect moment. The idea of unexpectedly meeting your ideal partner in a bookshop makes for an appealing storyline, but real relationships rarely begin so perfectly. Waiting for “The One” to arrive can also create unrealistic expectations about love and timing. Finding a meaningful relationship often requires you to be proactive, meet people, build connections, and give those relationships time to develop. Much like other important parts of life, finding the right partner can require patience, effort, and genuine involvement rather than simply waiting for fate to intervene.
5. The Idea of You (2024)
The film presents the familiar fantasy of a celebrity falling for an ordinary person, but it gives little attention to what would actually make such a relationship work. The attraction largely centers on her ability to treat him like anyone else rather than being impressed by his fame, which may create an appealing romantic setup, but that alone cannot sustain a partnership. Real relationships involve shared values, communication, finances, family expectations, children, and different approaches to everyday life. By overlooking these practical challenges, the story can make a complicated relationship appear much simpler than it would be outside the world of romantic cinema.
6. The Perfect Couple (2024)
A relationship can look perfect from the outside while hiding struggles that other people never see. Movies and social media often present carefully chosen moments that can make another couple’s life appear happier, easier, or more romantic than reality. Comparing your own relationship with what you see on screen or online can create unrealistic expectations and unnecessary doubts. Every relationship has its own challenges, communication patterns, and private experiences, so judging its strength from appearances rarely tells the full story. Rather than measuring your relationship against someone else’s carefully presented image, it is healthier to focus on your own connection and what genuinely works for both partners.
7. The Notebook (2004)
The story presents love as an extraordinary, almost flawless devotion, from Noah restoring a house for Allie to years of letters and their final moments together. It is deeply romantic, but such idealized portrayals can make ordinary relationships seem inadequate by comparison. You may start believing that true love must involve grand gestures, lifelong sacrifice, and dramatic proof of devotion. Real relationships rarely follow such perfect scripts because people are imperfect and life is complicated. Love can still be meaningful without elaborate gestures or constant passion. In reality, lasting relationships often grow through patience, understanding, compromise, and the ordinary moments shared between two imperfect people.
8. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937)
Fairytales often make love look like a thrilling beginning rather than a relationship that needs time to grow. Snow White barely knows her prince, yet the story presents him as her perfect partner, skipping over everything that actually builds lasting love. Real relationships are shaped through communication, trust, shared experiences, compromise, and the ability to navigate difficult moments together. When romantic stories focus mainly on instant chemistry and dramatic fireworks, they can make everyday connections seem less exciting or meaningful. In reality, the strongest relationships are often found in the quieter stages of love, where two people gradually understand each other and build something lasting.
9. Grease (1978)
The story can send the message that changing yourself is necessary to earn someone’s love or attention. Sandy transforms her appearance and personality to attract Danny, raising questions about why one person should have to become someone else to make a relationship work. Physical attraction can bring two people together, but it may not be enough to sustain a lasting connection. Relationships are more likely to grow when partners share important values, understand each other, and communicate openly. Opposites can attract, but once the initial excitement fades, shared goals and genuine compatibility often matter far more than changing yourself to fit someone else’s expectations.
10. The Lobster (2015)
The story can suggest that having enough similarities automatically creates a successful relationship, but shared traits alone cannot define compatibility. Two people may have similar interests or backgrounds yet still struggle to connect meaningfully. Love requires more than finding someone who mirrors your personality. It also involves curiosity, communication, flexibility, and understanding differences. Relationships can grow when partners bring something distinct to each other’s lives. Lasting connection often depends on how thoughtfully two people navigate their differences together.
