The journey of self-love typically begins in adulthood, when we understand what love feels like but struggle to love ourselves. Let’s find some practices that can help.
Self-love might seem like a myth until you grow up and become an adult with the lack of presence of love in life. Love is romanticized by everyone with the idea that it is shared with a significant other. However, there is more to life than just your loved ones, and if you are unable to love yourself, you may struggle to love someone else. The idea of love grows from childhood within the family, and how the child sees their parents. By the time we are grown-ups, we are already going through a lot of struggles, whether in our professional or personal lives.
Experts say that Self-love is a form of self-expression that helps to gain a new level of happiness and security in life, which comes from within. It can help to stay more confident in life, and you will not feel the absence of having someone. Self-love is important for every individual, and here are some helpful practices to instill it in life.
Practicing Self-love in Simple Ways
- Omit the idea of Perfection
Most of us are willing to become perfect in life, but what we should aspire to is become a better human in life. The idea of perfection is superficial and subjective to everyone, and so, you should never fit yourself into the stereotypical idea. Nobody is perfect, and imperfection makes each individual unique. Whether it is your life, job, IQ, beauty, or bank balance, the idea of perfection should not be measured based on these parameters. Embrace your distinctive qualities that make your personality stand out, rather than following what others say. Become your better self!
- Societal Expectations create Unrealistic Standards
According to Roosevelt, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” You will witness people having this joy all the time by comparing their belongings to those of others. Similarly, humans tend to compare people with other people, but you cannot reasonably compare with anyone, as everyone can have distinctively different qualities and talents. You can compare your past self with your present self just to find out how far you have come, but comparing with others is a societal trait that tends to demotivate people rather than encourage them in what they do. The more you compare with others, the more you lose yourself in the comparison.
- Live in the Moment! Carpe Diem
Well, it is not always possible to seize the day, but you can try to seize a moment every day. The true meaning of living in the moment can be only felt when you are doing it, and you should try it at least once a day. Instead of looking outside, look within you and appreciate the things you have and can have. It is like a practice of mindfulness that allows you to stay in the moment and stay grateful for it. According to recent research, mindful people have more self-esteem, and they are more empathetic towards others, having a secure mind.
- Daily Dose of Gratitude
Gratitude is key to loving yourself and finding the route to eternal happiness. While you are struggling through your daily job and financial management, you might notice a poor man in the countryside with no internet and a big, welcoming smile. The key to happiness does not only lie in materialistic belonging, but it comes with a mindset where you are grateful for having this life. We all have a fair share of adversities in life that we need to overcome, but only ranting about them cannot solve your problems. Your good health, your parents, a good sleep, and good food on your plate; these are what you need to be grateful for.
- Accept that you can’t Control Everything
The only things that you can control in this life are the things that you can change, such as yourself. Other than that, nothing is in your control, whether it is the weather or your crush liking someone else. You are not the reason for other people’s decisions in life, and so, you should not put yourself at the center of every story. Accept what you can control and what you cannot, and let the rest happen ‘in the hands of God’ as you cannot do anything about it. As soon as you can accept this, your tension and anxiety about the uncertain will reduce.
- Self-care Routine
A lot of people think that self-care means skin-care, but your ‘self’ includes more than just your skin. A self-care routine means creating a regimen for taking care of your mind and body. Yes, society will tell you that taking care of yourself is a selfish act, and so, we tend to show our goodness by taking care of others. You do not have to appear ‘good’ in the eyes of society; you just need to take good care of yourself. Starting from your skin-care routine to your fitness regime and your diet, everything can be a part of self-care activities.
- Check Yourself Emotionally
Sometimes we just need to sit down and check ourselves emotionally. Get a cup of tea or coffee, whatever you like, and think of the events of your day. What mood are you in right now? What caused it? Understanding your emotional state is very important for all individuals, as you cannot be a good empath if you are unable to understand your own emotions. Instead of burying your sentiments, understand them and find the reasons behind them, which helps to address those suppressed emotions better. This is one of the more important practices of self-love. Remember that it is not just your positive emotions but also the negative emotions that control your thoughts. Address all kinds of emotions to navigate better.
- Create a Good Circle
The social circle that you hang out with plays a vital role in your entire life, and so, you must keep a tight circle of people whom you can trust. Take a good look at the people you spend most of your time with, as their influence can affect your lifestyle and choices. Are they supportive? Loving? Good listeners? Or are they judgmental and abusive? Do they understand the value of self-love? Understand which people are good for your mental health and who are trying to insult you with intent. Always remember, the negative people owe you nothing, and the best thing you can do is avoid them.
- Try to Eat Healthy Whenever You Can
What you eat can greatly affect your mental and physical health. It is not just about the calories, but it is also a matter of choice. If you eat something that you will regret later, it will affect you mentally more than physically. You are trying to become a supermodel; you are just trying to live a healthy life, and basic fitness is enough for that. Try not to be overly conscious about your diet, and try to eat like a normal person, which makes you happy. Eating well is also a crucial practice of self-love.
- Start Moving Around!
Ever felt like you are becoming lazier as you grow up? It is quite common, as people tend to lack energy in their 30s with the immense pressure of work, finance, and family or personal issues. According to the medical experts, exercise not only improves your physical health but also your mental health by offering a boost in blood circulation and hormones. All of the cardio exercises are good for your health, and they can also help you improve your stamina, which allows you to stay strong.
- Clear the Clutter on Social Media
Social media plays a vital role in our lives, especially in this digital age, where people are obsessed with their online presence on social media. However, it is also creating a heavy dependency on social platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and other platforms, which are not good for your overall mental health. Get rid of all haters on social media platforms, as well as all those unnecessary memes that offer a degraded sense of entertainment that does nothing for your life. If possible, take a digital break from social media whenever you can, as it is mandatory for your well-being.
- Embrace Your Individuality
Everyone is unique in their own ways, and you should also embrace your uniqueness and individuality that makes you stand out among all. Learn to take pride in the differences helps to create a strong sense of self-love and self-esteem. Try to be unique in your own way, and you will love that change in you who is more empowered and confident.
- Don’t Compromise with Toxic Relationships
Toxic relationships are a part of everyone’s lives, and most of us are struggling to get rid of them. This struggle is real, as letting go is not easy when you really like the other person, but sometimes letting go is what the relationship needs. You are a fine individual who deserves all the love and happiness in life, and you should never compromise yourself to be in a toxic relationship. Be with people who make you feel fantastic and not lesser. It might be difficult to understand which connections are poisonous for you, but you will realize through their body language. Having people who do not support you is worse than not having any support at all.
- Forgive Yourself
The act of forgiveness is huge, and a lot of people hold grudges for the rest of their lives. But holding onto so much hatred and negativity is never good for your well-being, and you should get rid of them immediately. Just like you need to forgive others, you also need to forgive yourself for the times when you are not your best. Did you do something that made you feel regretful, humiliated, or ashamed? It is time to get rid of those feelings that hold you back. Consider your mistakes in life as moments of learning, and when you have received your lesson, it is time to move on.
- Meditate
Meditation might not sound like it can do much, but this breathing practice can help you become powerful from within. Even though it seems like meditation is all about sitting in one place and breathing, the most difficult task is emptying your thoughts during meditation. Start with only 2 mins of meditation and then gradually increase it to 5 mins, and then 10 mins. This way, you can improve your thoughts, breathing power, as well as presence of mind in every situation without panicking. Meditation can also help to reduce stress and anxiety, which makes it an integral part of self-care and self-love.
- Love and Embrace Your Body
The imposter syndrome in humans makes them hate their own bodies due to imperfection, but they might appreciate a stranger with the same body type. The stereotypical standards of an attractive body are already set by society, and most people follow the lean and muscular body as the ideal one. You should know that your body is an amazing tool for exploration, and you can take care of it without the need to make it aesthetically pleasing for others. Do everything you love or want to do without the fear of being judged. So, what happens if you are a plus-size individual wearing a slit dress? Well, what happens is that people get jealous of your confidence, which breaks the stereotypical conventions.
- Minimalism Sounds Good
Minimalism is the idea where people are actively reducing their material possessions by focusing on the experiences of life rather than the belongings. You can embark on a minimalistic lifestyle that includes a very few important things, and the rest of your expenses are saved for better experiences. Instead of buying a costly couch, invest in a foreign tour that can offer you multiple memorable experiences that you can always cherish. Happiness is appreciating what you already have, which can result in amazing discoveries like cooking a healthy meal from scratch.
- Don’t Shy Away from Showing Your Creative Side
In search of perfection, people are slowly losing their creativity, as most people do not want to do something creative just because they are not great at it, but someone around the world is already doing that with finesse. The idea of a hobby was to make people relax and cultivate their passion, but nowadays, no one wants to paint or sing just because they cannot do it as well as a professional. Guess what? You are meant to do them anyway, even if you are bad at them. The key lies in enjoying the process, and someday you will love the results too! Creativity is very important for your well-being, as art helps us to express ourselves better than words.
- Life is a Learning Process
Just like there is no certain age for academics, you can always keep on learning new things as you grow older. It can be reading a self-help book, learning a new language, a new cuisine, watching a movie from a different movie or culture, and the list goes on. Life is full of wonders, and you should grab on to every opportunity that you can get to learn something new. When learning becomes a part of your life, happiness becomes a part of your daily routine rather than a switch for the monotonous days.
- Stop Being Hard On Yourself
Just like you are kind towards others, you also need to show some kindness towards yourself, and we tend to be tough on ourselves. Not everything that we think is true, and it is very true in the case of the overthinkers who keep assuming situations before they even take place. We humans all have a critic inside, the self-conscious mind that keeps us tiny and secure. It prevents us from growing, and we need to break this shell. Do not be too hard on yourself, and always try to give your best, as that is the best you can do. Expectations do hurt, and it can hurt even more when you are keeping your expectations too high for yourself. Try to be more humane with yourself than you expect from others.
- Stress Management
More than financial management, stress management has become the need of the hour for most adults. Stress is the root cause of most diseases nowadays, and it needs to be actively managed by every individual. Stress prevention can help with managing health conditions like possible heart disease, obesity, high blood pressure, and depression. There are many stress management techniques that you can utilize manage your stress throughout the day. Pick a favorite technique and spend at least 10 minutes every day on this technique, which can help reduce stress in the long run.
- Set Time Boundaries
Time is the most valuable element of human life, as it is limited, and we want to use most of it. However, having a busy life leaves us with very little time for ourselves. When it comes to self-love, time boundaries are highly important as they help to set a timer for every task and allow you to spend your time in your own way. Other than your work, try to spend your time on something productive rather than time-sucking activities that might not add any value to your life. Since we are talking about boundaries, a healthy boundary is not just important but mandatory. Do not be afraid to say no to something that you genuinely do not want to participate in. Listen to your heart and set boundaries.
- Get out of Your Comfort Zone
Nobody wants to take risks in life, and most people are more likely to stay in their comfort zones, as it does not involve the fear of uncertainty. However, you cannot expose yourself to new opportunities if you are not willing to get out of your comfort zone and take a risk. The joy we experience when we realize we have accomplished something we didn’t know we could do is fantastic. Therefore, you need to actively try to show yourself love by putting yourself in new situations and among people other than what you are already used to.
- Treat Others with Love
You know, we tend to feel good for ourselves when we can do something good for others. That is the reason why there are so many people engaged in philanthropic activities and social work. When you treat others with love and respect, you will receive it 10-fold better in return. However, you should not seek returns as you are helping others to feel good and not for a favor in return. How you treat people is a reflection of your personality.
- Celebrate Each Milestone
We set many goals in our lives, both short-term and long-term ones. No matter if it is a big achievement or not, you should celebrate each milestone with the ambition to gain more milestones in the coming days. When you are happy with your accomplishments, it offers a great dose of motivation and optimism that you can do anything. This is a great way to keep yourself consistent in your path with constant growth and celebrations.
- Follow Your Passion
Most individuals are doing a job that they do not like, but the salary pays their rent. Following your passion is not easy in this competitive economic situation, but if you do not give your passion a chance, who would? The thing that excites and terrifies you the most is nothing but the passion that you wanted to pursue and did not. Self-love is a dynamic idea, and following your passion is a crucial part of it.
- Don’t Look for Others’ Approval
Nobody cares about your life, and no one is going to pay your bills, and you should not even expect that someone would. This is your life, and you are the main character of your story. Do not seek approval from others and embark on your journey like a one-man army!
